allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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