nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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