Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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