According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
