On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
