He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
