can u get pink eye on your cock?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
