apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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