We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize