1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
