On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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