i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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