We're like a lot better than the average bears
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
