Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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