went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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