I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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