I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize