The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
