It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
