I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
