just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
