Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
