How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
