Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
