ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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