You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
