so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
this beer tastes like vomit already
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
