guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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