I'm drive I can fine osifer
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
