were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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