We're like a lot better than the average bears
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize