This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
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