She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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