I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
