Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
