Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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