using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
