YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
