Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
only if we run a train.
done.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
