So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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