goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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