Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
