Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
