Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
