remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
