shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
