I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
