We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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