Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Quick, to the slutcave!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
