You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
