im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I wanna bring you to show and tell
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just threw up on my dentist
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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