How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
