JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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