He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
