Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
