Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
