a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
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