i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
