Umm I'm too high to move.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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