i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
