You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Randomize
