I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
