You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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